Hotel Rules

I spend a lot of time in hotels. People who don't tend to think that because they're paying, almost anything goes. This isn't true - the staff are not your personal slaves, they're trying to make a living as best they can, just like you. Some basic rules that I think need to be observed:

1. If you're a guy, don't come down to breakfast in a sleeveless vest unless you shave your armpits. It's just gross. Come to think of it, this applies to women too.
2. If the elevator door is closing, you've missed it. Don't stick your arm in the door. Quite apart from the obvious risk, your time is not more valuable than mine, no matter what you might think.
3. If you're a kid, don't come down to breakfast in your PJs. You're not at home, or didn't your parents tell you that?
4. Use the tongs to pick up food. Again, you're not at home.
5. If free food is provided, don't pile your plate high. It just makes you look greedy, and poor.
6. There is never a good reason to wear sunglasses or a baseball cap indoors.
7. Everybody finds it hilarious when all the buttons in the elevator are pressed - never miss an opportunity to do it. And tell your kids, so they can share in the fun.
8. Housekeeping's job is to keep the place clean and tidy. That doesn't excuse you from basic rules of hygiene.