Bob the Horse Travels: Dallas

I'm a Hertz Gold Club member (which is only right, since I spend more time in their cars than I do in my own). One of the benefits of this is that I get an automatic upgrade to the next level - I usually book a mid-size car, and get upgraded to a full-size, like a Ford Taurus. Last time I was here, some of the other IBM guys told me that when they booked a full-size, they were upgraded to a Jag or Volvo. So that's what I tried this time. What do I get? A Crown Victoria. Think boat, but with wheels. I call it, affectionately, Das Boot. It's ok at the hotel, because they have a guy with a paddle in each hand to guide me into a parking space, but it's difficult at work. And when you lock it, the damn thing honks, drawing attention to itself. It's the kind of car old men with white hair drive. Wait a minute ... I AM an old man with white hair - I've gotta change this car.

Anyway, in a moment of what I suspect must have been a flash of literary genius, I penned the following:

Cruising down MacArthur in my beautiful Crown Vic

Trying to look really cool but feeling like a ... old man with white hair.

Do you think it's worth trying to flesh this out a little? I've attached a piccie of the car - I put a quarter on the hood so you can get an idea of the size of this thing.

Today's road trip was really only half a road trip. For a start I only went to Dallas, and I didn't really do all of it (unlike Debbie, if you remember those halcyon days of movie-making). So I have to reserve final judgement until I've seen the rest of it.

First a couple of facts about Dallas from the guide book. Population over 1 million, 3.5 million if you include the MetroPlex area (and I think that Fort Worth is probably condescendingly included). Eighth largest city in the US. "Top leisure visitor destination in Texas" (which I think says more about Texas than it does about Dallas). More restaurants per capita than New York City (I think we've covered this before).

So I start in the historic downtown area, which coincidentally is where JFK was shot. I've attached a piccie of the memorial. It's big. And it's concrete. This seems as much of a raison d'etre as anything in Texas needs, and probably symbolizes Texas more than it does JFK.

Downtown is just a collection of tall buildings, like many American cities. The architectural dissonance never seems to bother anybody. Some cities are a joy to walk around - New York, London, Paris. And some are not, which is a shame. Cities like Dallas and Los Angeles really need you to drive to an area, walk around it, drive to another area, walk around it, etc. Anyway, after seeing downtown Dallas, it was on my list, together with Toronto, as most boring city in North America (incidentally, I believe Toronto is going for the the world championship this year, having already won the North American round). I know I'm hard on Toronto, but I really have walked all around it, and can assure you that there's nothing to see. In its favor, it's the only city I've ever been to that labels the gay area on its tourist map, and that takes guts.

I had lunch in (or rather, outside) an Italian restaurant downtown, and it didn't take long before Stanley identified me as an easy mark for a quick sketch. In fact, he was very amusing, and I have great respect for someone that is prepared to do something in return for funds, rather than just asking for it. When I gave him money, I told him it wasn't for the picture, but for his time, because he took a good deal of time trying to get it right, in his own eyes.

Then I headed towards the Farmers Market. On the way, I noticed Dallas's answer to the problem of having more police than cars - give them bicycles. The Farmers Market was amazing - mahogany furniture (from Mexico?) at unbelievable prices, and every kind of fruit and vegetable imaginable.

I headed towards Deep Ellum "a hotbed of jazz and blues". I don't think it's fair to judge Deep Ellum on its daytime appearance. I suspect that, at night, the sidewalk probably vibrates under your feet, but it's pretty dead in the afternoon. I think I would like to go back there in the evening, because it looked as though it had the potential for being pretty lively.

On the way back, I passed what looked like a film set. I asked one of the technicians what they were filming, and he told me it was a Chuck E Cheese commercial. He had to agree with me that it was "different".

So I still have to see the "Arts District", "Uptown", and the "West Village". I'll reserve judgement until then.